I was a preschool child
released: 2016 Transcript (At 3am, h&j are shirtless and in bed) Henry: (talks quietly) hey, june, i want to ask you, about this June: what is it? Henry: you know, preschool June: preschool? Is it for little kids Henry: yes. June: yay! (at buena restaurant) Dannii: (starts eating prawn crackers) mark: buena, is Briana, a preschool kid dannii: er, no mark: wait, what? (people walking away) customer: i’m Going home! customer 2: yeah! (people walk out of the buena restaurant) Dannii: wait! Don’t go! Please! All of you, listen, you are not leaving my buffet restaurant, but I can hear someone singing a wash song (at the toilet) mark: (wearing a mache face of Henry) now, go ahead dannii: (wearing a mache face of June) call attention to us briana: hey everybody, look who’s at the buena restaurant! mark: (mimicking Henry) it’s been fun to play with dirt male customer: that’s h&j, nah, that is serious! henry: guys, what is going on june: keep it down, tomorrow we will help those little kids (at preschool) preschool teacher: welcome my dear ones, oh my, you are going to help children, are you? henry: yes june: we’re here to help preschool teacher: good! Okay kids, today we will watch Eric smith’s preschool, and our helper, Henry and June, will be acting out bloopers (VHS turns on) Director: Places everyone, Eric Smith's Preschool take 1! Lights, Camera, Action! Eric Smith: Hello, everyone, I'm Eric Smith! Director: Cut! What happen to the couches? Henry: ok boys and girls, we’re Going to ask few questions! (Color bars: Take 2) Eric Smith: Hello, everyone, I'm Eric Smith! Director: Cut! This is Rated TV-Y, not TV-14! Kid: it is TV-14 (Color bars: Take 3) Eric Smith: Hello, everyone, I'm Eric Smith! And this is my brother David! Director: Cut! That's not David Smith, that's Eddie K. Poloncarz? (Color bars: Take 4) Eric Smith: Hello, everyone, I'm Joseph Poloncarz! Director: Cut! Your name is Eric Smith, not Joseph Poloncarz! Eric Smith: Do you think i'm stupid? (Color bars: Take 5) Eric Smith: Hello, everyone, I'm Eric Smith and welcome to heaven, and I'm an angel! Director: Cut! This isn't heaven, this is a studio set and your not an angel! Eric Smith: Oh for the love of God! (Color bars: Take 6) Eric Smith: Hello, everyone, I'm Eric Smith! And this is my brother, David! And this is my sister, Ivy! Director: Cut! That's not Ivy Smith, that's Zara Dawson? David Smith: Zara, get off the stage right now! (Color bars: Take 7) Eric Smith: Hello, everyone, I'm Eric Smith! And this is my...cough cough, cough cough! Director: Cut! Eric, are you alright? Eric Smith: Give me some water please? (Color bars: Take 8) Eric Smith: Spoiler warning! Hello, everyone, I'm Eric Smith! And it’s time to sing with singalong with Joyce and Jane Director: Cut! We are not doing a delayed tape or a spoiler warning, this is live! And it’s not time to play singalong with Joyce and Jane! Eric Smith: Oh for crying out loud! (Color bars: Take 9) Eric Smith: Hello, everyone, I'm Eric Smith! Director: Cut! Why are you naked! Eric Smith: Whoops! (Color bars: Take 10) Eric Smith: Order in the court, order in the court! Hello everyone, I'm Eric Smith! Director: Cut! This isn't the courthouse, this is a studio set. You will upset the preschoolers and where not playing Judge Judy! Eric Smith: Objection Director, how dare you think this is a studio set. That's it, I'm suing you! Director: Eric, please be nice? (Color bars: Take 11) Eric Smith: Hello, everyone, I'm Eric Smith! And this is my brother, David! And this is my sister, Ivy! Director: Cut! That's not Ivy Smith, that's Rosie Anderson! (Color bars: Take 12) Eric Smith: Ciao a tutti, sono Eric Smith Director: Cut! Your not saying in English, that's Italian language! Now let's start over! Eric Smith: Oops! (Color bars: Take 13) Eric Smith: Γεια σας, ο καθένας, είμαι ο Eric Smith (Geia sas, o kathénas, eímai o Eric Smith: Translate to English, Hello, everyone, I'm Eric Smith) Director: Cut! Your not saying in English, that's Greek language! Now let's try that again! Eric Smith: Oops again! (Color bars: Take 14) Eric Smith: Hello, everyone, I'm Eric Smith! And this is my brother, David! And this is my sister, Ivy! Director: Cut! Where's Ivy Smith go! Kate Smith: Um, I think she needs a new diaper on because she wet herself? Director: That's OK, let's start over immediately once she's back! (Color bars: Take 15) Eric Smith: Hello, everyone, I'm Eric Smith! (Eric farted) Director: Cut! How dare you farted on Stage! (Color bars: Take 16) Eric Smith: Hello, everyone, I'm Eric Smith! And it’s art with Ann! Director: Cut! This is not the time to art with Ann! And it’s is TV-Y, not TV-MA! (Color bars: Take 17) Eric Smith: Hello, everyone, I'm Eric Smith! Director: Cut! Where's the theme song! (Color bars: Take 18) Eric Smith: Hello, everyone, I'm Eric Smith, and I'm sexy and I know it! Director: Cut! We're not singing I'm sexy and I know It by LMFAO. This is Eric Smith's Preschool Kid: they are not singing i’m Sexy and I know it (Color bars: Take 19) Eric Smith: Hello, everyone, I'm Eric Smith! And this is my brother, David! And this is my sister, Ivy! And this is my Dad! Director: Cut! That's not Diesel Smith, that's Diesel Busters! Diesel Busters: Well, i'm screwed! june: yeah, he is screwed. (Color bars: Take 20) Eric Smith: Hello, everyone, I'm Eric Smith! Howzat! Director: Cut! kid: this Is not cricket (Color bars: Take 21) Eric Smith: Hello, everyone, I'm the troublemaker, Eric Smith! Director: Cut! That's not the line for what you said! Eric Smith: Oh Jesus Christ! (Color bars: Take 22) Eric Smith: Hello, everyone, I'm Eric Smith! Mamma Mia, here I go again! Director: Cut! Your not singing ABBA's Mamma Mia! kid: he is singing mamma Mia by abba henry: oh yeah, he is, but, june and I sang hundred songs, not Eric (Color bars: Take 23) Eric Smith: Hello, everyone, I'm Eric Smith! Director: Cut! You're cannot dance without standing still! (Color bars: Take 24) Eric Smith: Hi, everyone, I'm Eric Smith! Director: Cut! You're supposed to say hello, not Hi! Eric Smith: My bad! (after the take) kid: Eric is saying hi instead of hello june: you said it! (Color bars: Take 25) Eric Smith: Hello, everyone, I'm Eric Smith! And it’s time for cherry the sackboy’s storytime Director: Cut! this is not the time to play cherry the sackboy’s story time june: wow (Color bars: Take 26) Eric Smith: Hello, everyone, I'm Eric Smith! And did someone said KFC? Director: Cut! We're not having KFC against Preschoolers! Let's try that again! David Smith: Eric, we already finish lunch right! Eric Smith: Right, I forgot! kid: they are not having kfc (Color bars: Take 27) Eric Smith: Hello, everyone, I'm Eric Smith! And this is my annoying brother, David! Director: Cut! That's very rude to your brother like that! kid: he says annoying henry: yes, that is very rude to brothers (Color bars: Take 28) Eric Smith: Hello, everyone, I'm Eric Smith! And this is my favorite Pokemon character, Latios! Director: Cut! That's not David Smith, that's Latios! Eric Smith: Oh for god's sake! kid: that is latios june: yes, he’d says that this is his favourite pokemon, latios (Color bars: Take 29) Eric Smith: Hello, everyone, I'm Eric Smith! And this is my...Kerchoo! Director: Cut! You can't sneeze if you cover your arms! (Color bars: Take 30) Eric Smith: Hello, everyone, I'm Eric Smith! And do you like my muscles! Director: Cut! You can't show muscles for preschoolers! (Color bars: Take 31) Eric Smith: Hello, everyone, I'm Eric Smith! And this is my brother, David! And this is my sister, Ivy! And this is my angry annoying Dad! Director: Cut! That's very rude to your father! Now let's try that again! Diesel Smith: Eric, what is wrong with you! kid: he is saying this is my angry annoying dad June: yes, and his dad is cross, luckily, my dad isn’t angry and annoying. (Color bars: Take 32) Eric Smith: Hello, everyone, I'm Eric Smith! And this is my stupid brother, David! Director: Hold on, cut! That's not David Smith, that's Zack Dawson! And also don't call your brother stupid, that was very unnecessary! kid: did he call his brother stupid henry: yes, he calls David stupid (Color bars: Take 33) Eric Smith: Hello, everyone, I'm Eric Smith the Great! Director: Cut! That's not your name Eric Smith the Great, it's Eric Smith! And this isn't Ancient Greece! june: his name is not Eric smith the great henry: I am henry, not henry the great, nor my friend june the great, which is not Ancient Greece (Color bars: Take 34) Eric Smith: I know what you're thinking. "Did he fire six shots or only five?" Well to tell you the truth in all this excitement I kinda lost track myself. But being this is a... Director: Cut! This is not Dirty Harry, it's Eric Smith's Preschool Henry: Eric smith says the quotes for dirty harry, right kids? kids: yes (Color bars: Take 35) Eric Smith: Hello, everyone, I'm Eric Smith! And I just pee'd my pants! Director: Cut! (Color bars: take 36) Eric Smith: Hello, everyone, I'm Eric Smith! and this is my brother, David, and this is my sister, big booty lady Director: Cut! If you show boobs and appear naked, your dead! June: eric calls ivy big booty lady, let’s see the last one (Color bars: Last Take) Director: OK, one last take, before I'm starting to throw a breakdown! Lights, Camera, Action! Eric Smith: Hello, everyone, I'm Eric Smith! And this is my brother, big fat meanie! david: as if I really look like this?! Director: right that’s it, never work! (children laugh) Henry: isn’t that funny? children: yes! June: let’s Try the next one (another vhs tapes) Eric Smith: Hello, everyone, I'm Eric Smith! And this is my brother David! And this is my sister, Ivy! And this is my Dad! And this is my Mom! Director: Cut! That's not Eric's Mom Kate Smith, that's Elena Marquez! Eric Smith: Dammit, I'm almost there! henry: I think it isn’t my mum, that is elena (Color bars: Take 37) Eric Smith: Hello, everyone, I'm Eric Smith! However, The Teletubbies sucks! Director: Cut! The Preschoolers loves the Teletubbies! So don't upset them and let's try again from the top! Eric Smith: Well I still hate Teletubbies! henry: kids, watch, i’m Henry june: and i’m June, however, pbs kids sucks (Color bars: Take 38) Eric Smith: Hello, everyone, I'm Eric Smith! And this is my brother, David! Director: Cut! That's not David Smith again, that's Lucy McCall! (Color bars: Take 46) Eric Smith: Hello, everyone, I'm Eric Smith! And today, I'm reading strippers magazine! Director: Cut! That's very rude to the preschoolers about strippers, they're way too young! kid: now you henry: hi, i’m Henry june: and i’m June, and today, we’re reading a nickelodeon magazine (Color bars: Take 52) Eric Smith: Hello, everyone, I'm Eric Smith! Director: Cut! Where's the TV-Y rating? (Color bars: Take 53) Eric Smith: Hello, everyone, I'm Eric Smith! And this is my hip hop brother, David David Smith: Yo, what's up my homies! Director: Cut! This is not the rap style of Eric Smith's Preschool, act normally! Eric Smith: Yo, I don't care about that you! kid: this is not rap (Color bars: Take 54) Eric Smth: Hello, everyone, I'm Eric Smith! Director: Cut! Where is my camera, that's not the right camera! (Color bars: Take 55) Eric Smith: Hello, everyone, I'm Eric Smith! Director: Cut! Where's the plant? (Color bars: Take 56) Eric Smith: Hello, everyone, I'm Eric Smith! Director: Cut! Eric, where's your glasses? Eric Smith: Oh, I forget to get it! (Color Bars: Take 58) Eric Smith: Coming up next on PBS Kids, It's Eric Smith's Preschool! Hello, everyone, I'm... Director: Cut! This is not a coming up next bumper, This is Eric Smith's Preschool! june: it isn’t a coming up next bumper, right kids? kids: yes (Color Bars: Take 59) Eric Smith: Hello, everyone, I'm Eric Smith and who’s so hungry! (The film crew were laughing) Eric Smith: Um, what's so funny? David Smith: OK, Cut! Let's try again! (Color Bars: Take 60) Eric Smith: Helo, boys and girls, I'm Eric Smith. Director: Cut. (Color Bars: Take 61) Eric Smith: Hello, everyone, I'm eric smith and you can suck my d Director: Cut! No foul language. (Color Bars: Take 62) Eric Smith: Hello, everyone, I'm Eric Smith. And this is my rude sister, Ivy. Director: Cut! That's not Ivy Smith, that's David Smith. And also how dare you said rude sister like that. (Color Bars: Take 120) Eric Smith: Hello, everyone, I'm Eric Smith! And feel my armpits! Director: Cut cut cut! Do you show the Preschoolers to your arms! (Color Bars: Take 124) Eric Smith: Hello, everyone, I'm Eric Smith! And it's time for Five Minutes More! Director: Cut! This is not the time to play Five Minutes More! (Color Bars: Take 129) Eric Smith: Hello, everyone, I will kill you all! Director: Cut! This is not hell! (Color Bars: Take 132) Eric Smith: Coming on theatres, a new movie starring everyone’s Favourite, Hello, everyone, I'm Eric Smith! director: cut! This is not a movie trailer! (vhs ends) Kid: it is not a movie trailer (at home, it’s 7pm) june: (changing into her swimsuit) this is awesome hansky, we helped the kids henry: (changing into his swimsuit) oh yeah girl june: I laughed at Eric because he said that it is time to play five minutes more, and it’s not the time to play five minutes more henry: yes (jumps in the water) come, my lady, will you jump in june: yay! (Starts to jump in) (squeals) this is awesome! Henry: hey children. All: hi henry and june! June: would you all join the bathtub with me and henry? Henry: because it's time for cbeebies wash song! All: Yeah! Henry: it's been fun to play with dirt, getting grubby doesn't hurt June: but at the end of messy play Henry and June: it's time to clean the dirt away June: before I eat, I have a wash Henry: rub a dub, splish splash splosh Henry and June: this is what I always do To wash off germs and stinky poo Henry: soap on my fingers and in between, make sure that they are really clean June: rinse and dry, then I'm done Henry and June: a wash with CBeebies is so much fun. All: yay! Kid: thank you henry and june for singing the wash song. Henry: thanks children! June: we know that our song is the most of bbc! All: awesome! (Back At the buena restaurant) briana: (singing) oh, I hate people, i’m The one, la la la la la... henry: looks like it’s still haunted, eh, june? june: no... dannii: i’d, i’d Already got the keys (they look suspicious and opens the door, when Henry, June and dannii peeks in, they see briana singing and dancing on the tables) briana: (singing) I hate henry, I hate June, I hate dannii buena and her boyfriend mark shipp, I wish they could leave in black taxis and all the customers can suck my d, cause I am... mark: (turning on the lights) miss bri! briana: (shocks, faint) (customers laugh) (when it is closed) dannii: Hello, everyone, I'm Eric Smith! And it's time for Five Minutes More! (sniggers) Cut! This is not the time to play Five Minutes More! mark: what’s So funny? dannii: Eric says that it is time for five minutes more mark: I know, how about we call it, the buena who said that is not the time to play five minutes more dannii: good idea (the both happily changed into the buena who said that is not the time to play five minutes more restaurant) Musical guest: Chris and Pui (The African-American siblings) Henry: lets give a big h&j Welcome to our musical guest, Chris and Pui (The African-American siblings)! (Everyone cheering) Chris and Pui (The African-American siblings): The sun has slowly begun to set But night time hasn't arrived just yet It's that special time of day When I can relax or play I can go out to the park Watch the Robin and the lark While they're cleaning up their nest With very little time to rest I can walk down by the stream Lay down on the grass and dream Run and hide behind a tree One two three- can you see me? In the afternoon I'm free Happy time for you and me So much to see so much to do Happy time for me and you In the playground there's a swing Where I sit and swing and sing Up and up now look at me I can reach the canopy! The carousel spins round and round My feet can hardly touch the ground Whizzing down a winding slide Take my bicycle for a ride In the afternoon I 'm free Happy time for you and me So much to see so much to do Happy time for me and you It's afternoon..afternoon It's afternoon.. La la la la..it's afternoon La la la la..afternoon It's afternoon Afternoon..Category:Episodes of henry and june in action